saturday six

<ONE>

One year ago today, my cousin Lauren gained her wings. All day long I've been reading my family's statuses on FB and the pictures they've posted. Although I moved away from home before Lo was born, I felt a significant connection to her. I miss her very much, and think about her frequently. When I am struggling with a task, thinking of Lo sometimes helps me get through it. I'm not sure I can find the words to explain why, but when I tell myself to "do it for Lauren", I somehow am able. Lo you are loved and missed by so many. Here's my most favorite pic of Lo:

<TWO>

Two more days of work and I'm off for Christmas break. I work Monday and Tuesday, and will get a TON done. There will be no children, and very few staff in the building. I've manage to keep my office relatively organized since I cleaned it over Thanksgiving, so there isn't a whole lot of cleaning or organizing to do. Lots of copying, and preparing my very first flipped faculty meeting.

<THREE>

I have three more photo sessions to shoot before the new year. A mini session and two fulls. I did two this morning and it was 30 degrees. The families were definitely troopers. Man, it took a good 20 minute for me to get the feeling back in my right hand.

<FOUR>

Four of my most favorite/funny things Finn has said recently:

"Mommy, I love everyone."

"My peepee is getting bigger and bigger." (Life with boys)

"I'm getting you purple scissors for Christmas."

"Tell Daddy to keep his hands to himself."

<FIVE>

Five more days until my little Sisty arrives from California. She comes in at 11:58 pm on Christmas Eve. I am so darn excited to see her. It has been over a year. Mom and Auntie Paula arrive the day after Christmas. We don't have a whole slew of plans, other than to eat at Luna's Living Kitchen a handful of times since my mom eats mainly raw food. The three of them are going to keep the boys for a few days while Pat and I spend our six year anniversary at Sandals in Jamaica. OMG. I am so excited. There is so much to be excited for this break. But mainly this:

<SIX>

Six days until Christmas. And although I cannot wait, especially to see the wonder in the boys' eyes, I'm NOT ready. Who has time to shop? I tried today and got a few things, but shopping with a 1 year old and dealing with the masses and traffic is enough to make you crazy. I need two full days alone to get it all done and that's not happening. Oh and I still have to get everything shipped to arrive before Christmas. Stressed.

being rudolph

I saw this posted on a friend's FaceBook page today:

It really struck a chord with me.

So perfectly timed.

I've always been a people pleaser, for as long as I can remember. I've never really considered it a fault, nor have I considered it a strength. I suppose it hits both ends of the spectrum a little bit. Being in the professional position I'm in, I had to learn very quickly that no matter the decision I made, I would not please everyone. That was hard to stomach. My rationale is that as long as my decisions are based on what I believe is best for the child, I am going to rest easy knowing I did the right thing. Every decision is based on the child, and I know that the decision likely will either anger a parent or a staff member.

Recently I finished 37 Christmas mini sessions. I did them over 3 days, and probably could have done 4 or 5 days, the demand was so high. This made me feel great, that so many people wanted me to take their pictures. It is an honor when someone chooses you to photograph their family, their children. I know when I go to have pictures made of our family, I am very selective. I choose someone whose work I love, who I know will capture our essence. And so I trust that clients select me because they've seen my work, and they trust that I will capture their family's sweetest moments.

The tough part of mini sessions is that they are 25 minutes long. And sometimes 25 minutes isn't long enough for those shy little ones to come alive, be giggly. However, I take so many pictures of each session that I am typically pretty confident in the 8 pictures I deliver to each client.

Like most humans, I love to hear that my clients are pleased with the finished product. When I hear nothing, I fear they were unsatisfied. And if they're unsatisfied, I'd rather have that confirmed. Then I want to learn from the experience so I can become better at what I do. I have a few clients who are good at communicating these things to me. I always do my best to try to fix what they want fixed. Sometimes I am able to, and sometimes I'm not.

Typically I post one of my favorite photos from each session on FaceBook as a sneak peek. I never post my most favorite, or the picture(s) I believe the client might use to gift or put on their Christmas card. I also have my watermark on each photo and tag the client (unless they desire otherwise). I'm also "friends" with most clients in order to tag them.

This past week, a client posted on their wall a "flashback" Christmas photo stating that basically they were going to have to post a flashback photo until they could get good pictures next year (Indicating their pictures this year weren't good, right?). The client in no way stated specifically that this year's pictures weren't good, nor did they "out" me saying I did a bad job. I just knew. And it was like a dagger to the heart. I truly did the best I could. And I didn't know what to do...

...so I just unfriended her on FaceBook so I wouldn't have to read such statuses. But as you can see, this has stuck with me. I think about it a lot. I'm not perfect. My pictures aren't perfect. But I do the best I know how. I don't charge $350 for a session like some photographers do. I'm not saying that's bad. In fact, I pay that much for the photographer who takes our pictures. Gladly. She's worth every penny. I constantly compare myself to other photographers, which is a mistake. I don't want to be like every other photographer, but I do want to get better every year.

What it boils down to is that I know I'm a "little different" when it comes to being a photographer. I think I have a unique style, and I like that. I trust clients to choose me because of that. Tonight, I'm being Rudolph. I'm letting it go. I'm letting the hurt go, letting the client go. I'm being Rudolph and letting my light shine regardless of what she said.

I love what I do. I'll continue to do it.

SHINE ONE SHANTI, SHINE ON!

Yes, I just gave myself a pep talk.

5 on Friday

<ONE>

Is it Friday? I can hardly tell. Vacations totally throw off my sense of "day". So far, our Thanksgiving break has been amazing. I worked Wednesday in a very quiet building. Got a TON done. I can even see my desk. On Thanksgiving day, we had a slow morning. We went to the lake house at 2 for dinner, then to a playground on our way home. The lake house was quiet and relaxed. It was very nice. Today, my dad and stepmom came to visit. Another quiet day! Tomorrow we plan to go to Boone for the day to pick out our Christmas Tree at our tree farm of choice in Meat Camp (you read that right). We may piddle around Boone for a while, Mellow Mushroom, etc.

<TWO>

I'm knee deep in editing. That's why my blog has been so neglected lately. November is my super busy picture-taking month. In the past two weeks alone, I've done 37 Christmas mini sessions and 2 full sessions. I love how they're turning out. But man alive...I'm exhausted.

<THREE>

Kellan turned one a few weeks ago. I didn't have the chance to blog a letter to him as I did to Finn. Unlike Finn who was sick on his actual birthday, Kellan got sick the day of his party. We ended up canceling it and not rescheduling (due to my busy photography schedule). Had all these cute "Where The Wild Things Are" decorations and outfits and cupcakes...was very disappointing. But when you're running a fever of 103.9, you don't expose it to others. Mommy was bummed.

<FOUR>

Today, Finn announced these exact words: "I've got my life all figured out." I'm glad it only took him four years. I've been here 36 and never had it all figured out. He makes me laugh.

<FIVE>

I did not "Black Friday" shop today (kind of). I went on Nordstrom.com and bought myself a pair of earrings I've been wanting for a LONG time that were on sale. They're usually out of stock, or when they're in stock I'm too cheap to pay full price. Today was the glorious day! It'll be even glorious-er (?) when they arrive on my ears. 

Night.

What's Up Wednesday

So, it's November. And I think WUW is for the last Wednesday of the month.

Oh well. First Wednesday here we go!

• This week we are eating fried rice and sushi (Finn's favorite meal), turkey chili and baked potatoes, a homemade pineapple and black olive pizza, taco salad, Tandoori chicken kabobs with Naan bread, and a pineapple chicken sandwich.
• This week I'm reminiscing about the year in general. Kellan will turn ONE on November 13th and I'm not entirely certain how this year has come to an end. It is amazing how different the first year was with Kellan than with Finn. Kellan is so easy-going, and smiles at everything and everyone. He's much more like I am. 
• This week I'm dreading the weather. November is SLAMMED with photography sessions. Both the many I'm shooting, and our family portraits by Coreyanna Photography. The next 10 days' forecast isn't looking good. Rain. Wind. Rain. Thunderstorms. The combination doesn't make for good pictures, and there's not time to reschedule.
• This week I'm working on editing two photo sessions and planning Kellan's first birthday. Kellan's party is a lot smaller than Finn's. Just our close local family and friends. But there's still a lot that goes into planning.
• This week I'm excited about going to the Panther's game on Sunday. We have a sitter for the boys all day and Pat and I are going to sit back and enjoy an entire football game without a squirmy 11 month old, or a 4 year old that has to go potty or needs a drink or wants to go play on the grass every 5 minutes (that was the App game this past weekend).
• This week I'm sort of reading See Me, which is Nicholas Sparks' new book. When I say sort of, it means I started to read it one day, got 6 pages in, and haven't had the time to pick it up again. I should probably be reading it instead of blogging.
• This week I'm listening to my boys laugh together. The adore chasing each other, and just cackle cackle cackle. Typically this game of chase turns into tears as Finn gets too rough and knocks Kellan down. But prior to that, I love watching them go round and round and crack each other up.
• This week I'm wearing my very last pair of Banana Republic dress pants that I've been trying to fit into for 2 years. It's my 1 pair of pants I've been wanting to be able to button and zip and this week, it happened! 
• This weekend...well, I think I've covered it already: photo sessions, Panther's game.
• Next month, well how about this month? This month I'm looking forward to the Panther's game, Christmas mini sessions, having family over for Thanksgiving, and going to the mountains after Thanksgiving to pick out our Christmas tree.
• What else is new? We downloaded a weekly cleaning schedule from Pinterest. There are daily tasks (like 1 load of laundry, dishes, wiping down counters), and then more in-depth tasks for each day of the work week. For example, Mondays you clean your master bedroom, etc. Oh my word, friends, cleaning is not an activity I enjoy. And it is taking near 2 hours a night to get it all done. Not sure if that means we're really dirty or what. I'm hoping as we continue, the time will get shorter each night as we're more maintaining than deep cleaning. It is nice to have a mostly clean house every day though. Can I just hire someone?

Stitch Fix #7

'Twas a Happy Wednesday for me!

My 7th Stitch Fix arrived and was waiting for me when I get home.

I waited longer than usual for this one, so I was particularly excited.

Look at the beauty of it:

I wrote in my last note to Stitch Fix that I wanted the same stylist I had last time, when my fix was a 5/5 keeper. And, they listened! I also said I'd like a nice fall sweater, and a nice pair of dress pants for work...preferably red. And, my stylist (Sam) listened. In fact, here is her note to me:

She referenced my Pinterest board and my request for red pants.

This is why I love her.

Confession time:

I was added to a Stitch Fix B/S/T board on FaceBook.

The ladies on the board buy, sell, and trade pieces they receive from Stitch Fix.

I learned from this board that you can sneak peek your box before you get it, once it has shipped.

You simply go in and act as if you are going to "check out", and it has listed all your items.

Now, you don't get to see patterns or colors...just the designer and name of the piece.

You can google it, but it's not exact.

So I snuck a peek, and I knew in advance it wasn't going to be a 5/5-er.

The one thing I was excited about was the Emers (pants).

On the B/S/T board, everyone has been raving about how comfy they are.

Like yoga pant comfortable...but you wear them to work.

So when I saw I had Emers on the way, I.COULDN'T.WAIT.

*Sidenote* I'll never "cheat" again and sneak peek. It ruined a lot of the fun of the process.

Here are the styling cards:

(which, again, are of no use to me)

Here's the price list of each item:

Yep, expensive fix. I knew regardless of how things fit, I wasn't keeping everything.

I had a $25 credit going in to this fix from a previous referral.

You see, if you use my referral link, I get $25 toward my next fix.

My referral link is:

https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/4656172

And...when you sign up and LOVE it...

you can get referrals and credits, too!!!

So here's the show:

Item One is the Kensie Blazer:

I do love blazers. But the last blazer I got and kept was blue. And this is blue.

The last blazer had a nice pattern, this was plain. It was also slightly larger than I'd choose for myself.

This one is a return.

Item Two is the 41Hawthorne Blouse:

So I didn't hate it. I actually like the color for fall.

Not a fan of the "Studs" - not really my style.

The shirt fit very well, but it is almost exactly like two other shirts I've received from Stitch Fix and kept. So for that reason:

This one is a return.

(AND REMEMBER, WE'RE NOT JUDGING THE CLEANLINESS OF MY BATHROOM)

Item Three is the Market & Spruce Dolman Top:

I love a Dolman. But, this one is way too big.

And it's blue. Blue #2.

This one is a return.

Item Four is the Margaret M Emers:

Sorry for the bad photo quality.

They were super comfy. But...

I wasn't in love. And to keep a $98 pair of pants, you have to be in love.

The pattern/texture wasn't quite right.

And I was wanting more RED than burgundy.

This one is a return.

Item Five is the RD Style Pullover Sweater:

When I first looked at it, I didn't even want to try it on.

Again, blue. Blue #3.

But I tried it on, really liked the length and fit.

I don't have anything like it in my closet.

I didn't want to lose my styling fee.

So this is my one keep.

At $68 with a $25 credit, this fix cost me $43.

Not bad, although I'm sure I could find a similar sweater cheaper somewhere else.

Not trying to discourage you from trying a fix at all.

This is my 7th, and only 2 of my fixes (this included) have been disappointing.

I don't blame the disappointment on my stylist. At all.

I never told her to stop sending blue/navy pieces.

She has seen what I've kept in the past and tried to send similar items.

I get it.

After checking out, and returning items #1-4...

I gave a lot of feedback to my stylist on sizing and colors and whatnot.

I also redid a few things on my style profile.

I stated: NO MORE NAVY.

I also went on my Pinterest board and pulled down some pins that I didn't want emulated in a future fix.

I'll still request Sam next time. I like her. She gets me.

Want to try Stitch Fix? You should!

Click HERE to use my referral link.

THANKS IN ADVANCE!!!

My next fix is scheduled to arrive on December 24th.

An early Christmas gift to myself :)

So if you sign up and schedule a fix,

you'll pretty much be giving me a Christmas gift, too.

*wink wink*

Thanks and Good Night!

Dear Finnegan

Dear Finnegan,

Today you turn four. 

There is so much I clearly remember about this day four years ago. Mainly frustration. You were strong-willed even before you were born. And to this day, you frustrate me with your strong-willed behaviors. You probably always will.

But frustration aside, your strong-will makes me proud. You know what you want. You are not persuaded. You are so smart.

I don't know where the time has gone.

"They" always say, "Don't blink" because your children grow up literally right before your eyes. This couldn't be more true. I don't know how you are four today.

Every ounce of you makes me smile and laugh. I love your mind, and how you express your thoughts. I could write a novel a month with all of your wit. Sometimes you have no idea you're funny. Sometimes, you are intentionally funny. And I think that in itself is a true skill.

Your belly-laugh is extremely contagious. You laugh, and you mean it! You love to be tickled, and when you've had enough, you let us know.

Sometimes I just stare at you in amazement. I'm already so proud of who you are. And if I'm not staring at you, I'm eating you up. I love kissing and nibbling those cheeks.

I can't wait to see what your fourth year of life has in store. You've already matured so much this past year, that I'm sure this year will be one of giggles and tickles and some deep conversations.

For your birthday this year, Mommy & Daddy got you:

Want: A bathtub toy, it is a floating mountainous racetrack for your Hot Wheels.

Need: A belt. You can't quite hold up 4T pants, and you always talk about needing a belt. Little old man, you.

Wear: Some long sleeve Ninja Turtle jammies.

Read: A whole slew of books - some Paw Patrol, some Pout Pout Fish, and some Tractor books.

Yesterday we had your birthday party at Cherry Berry in Denver. It is your favorite place to frequent for "ice cream" - really, frozen yogurt (but I'll never tell you that). You always get chocolate, then load it up with M&Ms, chocolate chips, gummy bears, juice balls (you call them bubbles), marshmallows, and fudge. Yuck.

 

 

You made your invite list, naming ALL of your friends from Preschool, and a few other family friends. It was a great turnout, and completely wiped you out.

You came home to unpackage all of your gifts, hoarding them from Kellan. As I laid you down to sleep last night, the last time I laid you down as a 3 year old, you had a "Rubble" toy in your hand. You wanted him to sleep with you, warm under your covers. And why not? I wish I had captured a picture of that.

Tonight, it's all about you. I baked you a "red cake" as asked (red velvet). We are dining out at this fine establishment called Jersey Mike's, per your request. All you want is a bag of chips...

Then we will head to Target to spend your gift cards on whatever toy(s) your heart desires.

And when we get home, you will open your gifts from Mommy, Daddy, and Kellan. We will sing to you one last time, and lay you to bed for the first time as a four year old.

My sweet, my heart, my purpose. I love every ounce of your strong will. I thank God every day for choosing me to be your mommy.

Love,
Mommy

Five on Friday

<ONE>

I haven't blogged in a while. The last 8 days I've not been feeling so well. Kellan and I shared a stomach virus. Finn and Pat both have had a cold, which I think I'm now getting. All I have to say is be careful how you word your prayers. I was holding Kellan, rocking him to sleep last Thursday evening and I prayed that God would take all of his sickness away and give it to me instead. Well, He did. Next time, I'll just pray that God take all his sickness away. Period.

<TWO>

This has been a very tough week for me. I've not felt on my game at all. I've been taking far too many things personally. I have to constantly remind myself that it's not my job to save the world. So I found this. Which I think is more meant for motivation to run, but I've been using it for just plain motivation. I can do this. And, next week, the things that were a big deal this week, won't be a big deal anymore. For the most part.

<THREE>

I'm running the Rhyne Financial 8K tomorrow in hopes of adding another medal to my running medal board in my office. Yes, it's all about the bling. No, this picture isn't MY bling. But maybe one day!

<FOUR>
Finn turns four on October 26th. He has no concept of "not yet" and wants his birthday to be here SO BADLY! He asks daily if his birthday is tomorrow and I keep saying, "Not yet...a little longer." He is ready for gifts and cake and ice cream. Every commercial he sees on TV for a toy that is a "boy" type of toy, he asks if I'll get him one for his birthday. What I'm most excited about is his party will not be at our house - hallelujah! We're going to Cherry Berry, and that is such a relief.

<FIVE>
Now that I'm confident in the way I feel in my clothes (weight is off), I've realized I have become addicted to clothing. I bought a few LuLaRoe items today at school, and I'm going through Stitch Fix withdrawals. I usually get my boxes 6 weeks apart but decided to go longer in between this time since my last box was such a splurge. I got an email today asking if I wanted to share anything with my stylist - so that means it's coming soon!!! Woohoo!!!

What's Up Wednesday

I was jonesing to write tonight as I'm all caught up on editing photos. But I don't really have a topic in mind so I found this:

What we're eating this week:

I was out of town this past weekend so Pat made our menu and did the grocery shopping. This is what we're eating: tofu and artichoke casserole, homemade pizza, Thai peanut salad, slow cooker chicken, grilled cheese and tomato soup, artichoke chicken and potatoes, and taco salad.

What I'm reminiscing about:

I've spent some time recently flipping through all the old pictures in my phone. This is the first picture of Finn I have stored in my phone. I had to do a double take because this is Kellan's favorite thing to do. Something about shoes!

What I'm loving...

Roots Thai Coconut Curry Hummus. Heaven in a little container. Just add carrots.

What we've been up to...

These past few weeks have been a little crazy. Either Pat has been out of town or I have. He's been working late or I have. I think we just see each other 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes before bed if we're lucky. I always think about how nice it will be when things slow down a little, but that never seems to happen.

What I'm dreading...

I had a really hard time answering this, which is a good thing. I don't have anything in the immediate future that I'm dreading. Finn is in this stage where he talks 100% of the time he is awake. I can't talk on the phone without him taking over the conversation. I can't have a conversation with Pat without Finn interrupting. And although at times I feel frustrated, I remember that there might be a day where I can't get him to talk to me at all (age 14?). So I try to remind myself to cherish his conversations even when it's not the right time for me. I do dread him growing up. I love his innocence.

What I'm working on...

What am I NOT working on? I'm getting everything organized and ready for Christmas mini sessions, trying to gather necessary items to create the various stages. I should be working on my photography blog. Maybe tomorrow. I'm working on planning Finn's 4th and Kellan's 1st birthday parties. Working on what to get them as gifts. We do the 4 gift rule (1 thing to wear, 1 thing to read, 1 thing they want, and 1 thing they need).

What I'm excited about...

In December, Pat and I will celebrate 6 years of marriage. We're going to Sandals in Jamaica for 3 days and 4 nights. I'm excited about that...big time! My sister, mom and auntie are coming from CA and MI to visit us and keep the boys while we're away. I'm VERY excited to spend time with them over the holidays. Magena (sister) is even going to be here for Christmas. I feel very lucky to celebrate the holiday with her and...secretly...I'm excited to get a stocking and stuff it with fun gifts for her.

What I'm watching/reading...

Since it isn't Bachelor or Bachelorette season, I'm not watching TV. Those (aside from the news) are the only shows I watch. So, I'm reading some poetry books, Ruby Holler, and re-reading Cafe (Companion to Daily 5). All of these books are for school. We're trying to get our students to read from a variety of genres and their least favorite is poetry. So I'm trying to find a good poetry book I can do a book-talk on during morning broadcast. I'm reading Ruby Holler which is a children's novel because it's by an author (Sharon Creech) that I like. Her book Walk Two Moons is one of my favorite children's novels. I'm re-reading Cafe because it has been a long time since I read it. And a lot of my teachers read it this summer. I'm trying to know my stuff and keep up with them. I know Judy Blume came out with a new novel and she is one of my favorite authors, so I think I will get that next.

What I'm listening to...

97.3 is my radio station of choice. Is that the "oldies" now? I listen to Pandora a lot. When I run or exercise I prefer the Taylor Swift station. When I need background music if I'm editing pictures or working on a blog, I prefer the Ray LaMontagne station.

What I'm wearing...

Currently I'm in baggy jammies. But I'm very into dresses lately. So easy. Here's one I bought this summer that I love dressing up with heels and a big colorful necklace:

What I'm doing this weekend...

In the background on the news, they just said this weekend is supposed to be on of the wettest weekends on record. Great. Well, I have one photo session scheduled Sunday night. Other than that, no solid plans. Which is good I guess. I was hoping it'd be nice so we could go to Boger City UMC and pick out our pumpkins. Oh well.

What I'm looking forward to next month...

Finn's 4th birthday is October 26th, and although I'm not looking forward to him getting older, I'm excited about his party because HE is excited about his party. It is "Paw Patrol" themed. Also, we're going to our first App football game as a family of four on October 31. So we will probably trick-or-treat in Boone. And I'm sure it'll be SO COLD. But that's ok. Finn and Kellan are both "the blue ninja turtle" per Finn's request. Their costumes look different as one is for a baby and one is for a 4 year old. He is extremely excited to wear his costume and trick-or-treat.

What else is new...

I've started a running club at work with 7 or 8 other teachers. We have just over 40 fourth and fifth grade students who will run with us 2 days a week for just over 2 months to prepare for their 5K in Huntersville in December. I'm excited about it! Of course, it's supposed to rain tomorrow. Trying to come up with a back-up plan.

5 on friday

<ONE>

I could write twenty-five things every Friday of what Finn says that cracks me up throughout the week. This week the two most memorable were:

1)  Me: "Finn, I am not very happy with your choices right now."/Finn: "Are you sure?" (coyly smiling)

...and...

2) Me: "Well I wonder what Mommy will have for dinner. Maybe I'll eat Finn's dinner since he has decided not to eat it."/Finn: "NO! I'm gonna eat it as soon as my grumpies go away! I just need to sit in a quiet place for a minute."

-----------------

Where does he get this stuff?

<TWO>

Pat was out of town this week - here's a virtual high five to you single parents who did it daily (not just one week). You are all amazing (and probably really tired).

 

<THREE>

I've been wanting to find a way to display my race medals and have been scouring Pinterest for a while. Well, I just plain don't have time to make anything. So Etsy.com it was! Here's what I got and will shortly be hanging in my office:

<FOUR>

It has taken MONTHS but I got my work inbox down to five emails before I left for the weekend. I couldn't even do that this summer. And the good thing is, the 5 in my inbox have already been responded to...they're just in there as reminders! I'm tellin' ya, there's something about the good feeling you get with an empty inbox!

 

<FIVE>

I am loving this quote lately: "What if I fail? Oh but my darling what if you fly?" I repeat that to myself a lot.

 

 

13.1

This weekend I ran my fourth half marathon.

That's 13.1 miles to be exact.

My first half was Charlotte's Thunder Road about 3 years ago. I finished somewhere around 2:50:00, and was about 60 lbs heavier. I remember crying at mile 10 because I couldn't believe I made it that far. Then because of the crying, I lost my breath. And the last 3 miles were HARD.

Second half was the High Country Half Marathon, where you begin at Kidd Brewer Stadium (ASU) and run up all these back roads all the way to Blowing Rock. I kid you not, uphill all the way. By this point I was at my goal weight. I don't have a clue how my finish time was, but if I were to guess it would probably be around 2:15:00. I remember falling to the ground at the finish line in tears because it hurt so bad.

Third half, my goal was to finish under 2:00:00. It was the Myrtle Beach Half. FLAT. No hills. My weight was still down below my goal, so I knew making the 2 hour mark was no problem. Until it was. The last 2 miles were running into some fierce wind. It slowed me down majorly. So I finished right around 2:03:00. Just 3 minutes over. I was a little bummed, but I was still able to improve my time.

All three of the above half marathons were between having Finn and Kellan.

Once I got clearance to exercise and had finished nursing Kellan, I began training again. I started off very slowly. 1 mile for a few days, then 1.5 miles. And I gradually built back up to long weekend runs of 8-9, 10-11, and so on. A few weeks before this fourth half marathon, I was back down (almost) to my pre-baby weight. This helped greatly to increase my speed. I'm still about 5-6 lbs heavier than I was at my very lightest, but I'm content to be where I am.

I have really worked hard to increase my speed and endurance so that I could finish under 2 hours on this half marathon. I've run approximately 3 times per week during the week, at about 4:30 am. Those morning runs are typically 3 miles, sometimes 4. Then on weekends I'd do a long run on Saturday and a 5 miler on Sunday. I've been averaging 85-100 miles a month. And on days I wasn't running, I was doing 40-60 minutes of "Insanity" videos. I'm telling you, it works.

I know that to beat 2 hours, your pace has to be faster than an average of 9:08 minutes/mile.

My comfy pace is about 9:15.

I also knew that the Davidson Half is hilly. Especially at mile 11.5 - right as your body is starting to fatigue. And by hilly I mean UP-hilly. So I knew I was going to have to speed through a lot of the miles in order to account for all the up-hills at the end.

I started to really get nervous 2 weeks out. Just thinking about how badly I wanted it.

Picked up my packet on Thursday. "Packet". It consisted of this:

Yes, a t-shirt and a lame number. Not even a really cool number.

The t-shirt might fit over my head if I'm lucky. I got a medium.

I think it was made for an 8 year old.

Friday I tried to hydrate-hydrate-hydrate.

Friday I also tried to eat very well. Lots of fruits and veggies and protein.

I also tried to get some good sleep.

I think I accomplished all of the above.

The morning of, I woke up at 5:30 and took a shower. I know that probably seems odd to shower before you go sweat. But I wanted to feel clean and fresh, and didn't want my hair looking all greasy in addition to the sweat. It's a thing. I know. I drank a cup of coffee, ate a banana with a bit of PB. If you're a runner, you know why you drink the coffee. Coffee works magic. It worked its magic for about an hour and a half.

Got to Davidson about 1/2 hour before gun. Frequented the porta-potties and walked around to warm my muscles. It was a little chilly. My stomach was just-a-turning. I mean, thank God for port-potties.

At the start line, I got in with the 2:00:00 pacers. They described the course and their plan for getting us across under 2 hours. I felt good, but nervous. There were a lot of us aiming for that time.

GUN.

Mile 1 was slightly downhill. I made an effort not to be an over-achiever and exhaust myself in mile 1, but also wanted to stay ahead of the pacers. I made mile 1 under 9:00. That was a good sign.

Every other mile was either right under 9:00 or right over. It really depended on the hills. And really the entire course was significantly hilly. However, there was one hill called Patrick Johnston (named after the road) that was the reason the Davidson Half is so difficult. You run down it at mile 1.5 and up it at 11.5. When I ran down it, I knew it was going to be tough going up. It was a short hill, but very steep. So I picked up the pace.

Lots of nice greenways, a few beautiful neighborhoods. A PGA tournament going on in one of them. Big leaderboards, men standing around with "quiet" signs. The golf people didn't seem to like the fact that we were running around their course...especially with all the cheering sections at each turn. Oh well.

At the turn-around (it was an out and back race), I had no idea where I actually stood. I figured right under an hour, but there was no timing sign. My watch just tells me by the mile, so I had no idea. But, about a minute after the turn-around came the 2 hour pacers. I was doing well!

At mile 7, for some reason, I had this wave of emotion come over me. I started to think about how much distance I had left to cover and how I couldn't wait to see my 3 favorite boys at the finish line. And then I started to think about my mom and how much she would love to have the ability I have to run...but even just to walk. I started to cry. And I remembered how losing your breath can destroy your race. So I choked it up and had to spend 30 seconds coaching myself to get my breath back to match the rhythm of my feet.

Back through the golf course, neighborhoods, and greenways.

And the looming 11.5 hill up ahead. I saw it. And in my head I said some words of encouragement. And I conquered it. I ran the whole thing. And although it slowed me down, it didn't stop me.

Even at the top of the hill, I told myself I could probably run a marathon (that's 26.2 miles). I felt good enough. Yes, I am signing up for a marathon.

Then at 12 miles, I decided I was crazy and that I would never run a marathon. I'm tired!

At 12.5ish miles, I heard the 2 hour pacers coming up behind me. They were yelling (encouragingly) at all the people running with them:

"ONLY 4 MORE MINUTES"

"PUMP YOUR ARMS"

"DON'T STOP"

"YOU'VE COME THIS FAR"

"GO FASTER!"

And I did all of those things. The last 0.2 miles were uphill. And as I saw the turn to the finish line, I saw my 3 favorite boys cheering me on. Pat was filming my run to the finish line, and Finn was shouting GO MOMMY, GO MOMMY! I suddenly had this spurt of energy to kick it into high gear.

And I crossed at 1:58:50.

UNDER 2 HOURS.

(Came in 11th in my age group)

And they handed me my medal.

Um, just an FYI...if you ever decide to run a race where you're giving finisher's medals. Put a dang ribbon on it so the finishers can WEAR it with pride. What is this little mini leather strap?

All day Saturday and Sunday my calves were tight. But I had no knee pain, and that's a wonderful thing. I am so proud of myself. I accomplished something many people only imagine or dream to. I don't have a "what's next" goal. I'm not trying to get my next one under 1:45:00. I'm not going to register for a full marathon. I'm just going to keep running, eat right, and stay healthy.

I'm doing these things not to be "skinny". I'm doing them to be a role model of health and wellness for my boys. I'm doing them so I can live a long healthy life, see my boys graduate college and get jobs. I want to watch them get married and have babies. I want to retire with my hubby at the beach. I want to travel. And I know to do these things I have to take care of ME.

And on another note, I found these two sleeping pictures in my phone. Wanted to share:

Kellan - how he naps:

On his belly, always has always will.

And he has to have a blanket scrunched underneath him.

Finn - how he sleeps:

I know. It freaks me out, too. But if you take his

"Pooh Blankie" off his face, he has a meltdown.

Who wouldn't take care of themselves to spend the rest of their lives with these two little pieces of perfection?

Oh, and October 1 I'm "running into" a running club at St. James.

Bring it!

5 on friday

<ONE>

Tomorrow's the day. 7:30 am. Davidson, NC. It's the half marathon I've been training months to run and this is my thought on it:

In all seriousness...I'm really nervous. This is my 4th half marathon, so it's not that I'm unsure whether I can do it. I know I can. I've set a goal for myself to finish under 2 hours. I've been working so hard for it, and my pace is kinda iffy. I could really use some thoughts, prayers, good vibes - whatever you have to give between 7:30-9:30!

<TWO>
I love looking for inspirational quotes on Pinterest. This is kinda still about number 1. Here are two quotes I've found about running and fitness that I'll be thinking about tomorrow morning. I think they can apply to other things in life as well.

^ My Mom will be in my inspiration tomorrow because of this.

...and...

^ This applies to so much more than running. But it is SO TRUE about running long distances.

<THREE>

If someone could please convey to my children that it's ok to sleep past 5:00 am I'd certainly appreciate it. Man alive!

<FOUR>

Finn just finished his first full week of 3 year old preschool and he loves it. I've already noticed a difference in his maturity. For example, he let me take some pictures of him and even followed directions. This used to be so frustrating for me. It was like a breath of fresh air seeing him ham it up for the camera.

<FIVE>
I'm in full Christmas picture mode with my photography business. I posted Christmas mini session sign ups this week and am more than halfway full already! (Sessions are in November) Pat has been assigned the task of building a mantle for one of the stages. Here's my inspirational picture:

So mine won't be quite as rustic because I don't have a barn on my property, but you get the idea. Then there's this wall tree I'm replicating:

And this vinyl backdrop that I love:

If you're interested in one of the few remaining spaces, you can click HERE to read the details and sign up!

Have a restful weekend,