saturday six

<ONE>

One year ago today, my cousin Lauren gained her wings. All day long I've been reading my family's statuses on FB and the pictures they've posted. Although I moved away from home before Lo was born, I felt a significant connection to her. I miss her very much, and think about her frequently. When I am struggling with a task, thinking of Lo sometimes helps me get through it. I'm not sure I can find the words to explain why, but when I tell myself to "do it for Lauren", I somehow am able. Lo you are loved and missed by so many. Here's my most favorite pic of Lo:

<TWO>

Two more days of work and I'm off for Christmas break. I work Monday and Tuesday, and will get a TON done. There will be no children, and very few staff in the building. I've manage to keep my office relatively organized since I cleaned it over Thanksgiving, so there isn't a whole lot of cleaning or organizing to do. Lots of copying, and preparing my very first flipped faculty meeting.

<THREE>

I have three more photo sessions to shoot before the new year. A mini session and two fulls. I did two this morning and it was 30 degrees. The families were definitely troopers. Man, it took a good 20 minute for me to get the feeling back in my right hand.

<FOUR>

Four of my most favorite/funny things Finn has said recently:

"Mommy, I love everyone."

"My peepee is getting bigger and bigger." (Life with boys)

"I'm getting you purple scissors for Christmas."

"Tell Daddy to keep his hands to himself."

<FIVE>

Five more days until my little Sisty arrives from California. She comes in at 11:58 pm on Christmas Eve. I am so darn excited to see her. It has been over a year. Mom and Auntie Paula arrive the day after Christmas. We don't have a whole slew of plans, other than to eat at Luna's Living Kitchen a handful of times since my mom eats mainly raw food. The three of them are going to keep the boys for a few days while Pat and I spend our six year anniversary at Sandals in Jamaica. OMG. I am so excited. There is so much to be excited for this break. But mainly this:

<SIX>

Six days until Christmas. And although I cannot wait, especially to see the wonder in the boys' eyes, I'm NOT ready. Who has time to shop? I tried today and got a few things, but shopping with a 1 year old and dealing with the masses and traffic is enough to make you crazy. I need two full days alone to get it all done and that's not happening. Oh and I still have to get everything shipped to arrive before Christmas. Stressed.

being rudolph

I saw this posted on a friend's FaceBook page today:

It really struck a chord with me.

So perfectly timed.

I've always been a people pleaser, for as long as I can remember. I've never really considered it a fault, nor have I considered it a strength. I suppose it hits both ends of the spectrum a little bit. Being in the professional position I'm in, I had to learn very quickly that no matter the decision I made, I would not please everyone. That was hard to stomach. My rationale is that as long as my decisions are based on what I believe is best for the child, I am going to rest easy knowing I did the right thing. Every decision is based on the child, and I know that the decision likely will either anger a parent or a staff member.

Recently I finished 37 Christmas mini sessions. I did them over 3 days, and probably could have done 4 or 5 days, the demand was so high. This made me feel great, that so many people wanted me to take their pictures. It is an honor when someone chooses you to photograph their family, their children. I know when I go to have pictures made of our family, I am very selective. I choose someone whose work I love, who I know will capture our essence. And so I trust that clients select me because they've seen my work, and they trust that I will capture their family's sweetest moments.

The tough part of mini sessions is that they are 25 minutes long. And sometimes 25 minutes isn't long enough for those shy little ones to come alive, be giggly. However, I take so many pictures of each session that I am typically pretty confident in the 8 pictures I deliver to each client.

Like most humans, I love to hear that my clients are pleased with the finished product. When I hear nothing, I fear they were unsatisfied. And if they're unsatisfied, I'd rather have that confirmed. Then I want to learn from the experience so I can become better at what I do. I have a few clients who are good at communicating these things to me. I always do my best to try to fix what they want fixed. Sometimes I am able to, and sometimes I'm not.

Typically I post one of my favorite photos from each session on FaceBook as a sneak peek. I never post my most favorite, or the picture(s) I believe the client might use to gift or put on their Christmas card. I also have my watermark on each photo and tag the client (unless they desire otherwise). I'm also "friends" with most clients in order to tag them.

This past week, a client posted on their wall a "flashback" Christmas photo stating that basically they were going to have to post a flashback photo until they could get good pictures next year (Indicating their pictures this year weren't good, right?). The client in no way stated specifically that this year's pictures weren't good, nor did they "out" me saying I did a bad job. I just knew. And it was like a dagger to the heart. I truly did the best I could. And I didn't know what to do...

...so I just unfriended her on FaceBook so I wouldn't have to read such statuses. But as you can see, this has stuck with me. I think about it a lot. I'm not perfect. My pictures aren't perfect. But I do the best I know how. I don't charge $350 for a session like some photographers do. I'm not saying that's bad. In fact, I pay that much for the photographer who takes our pictures. Gladly. She's worth every penny. I constantly compare myself to other photographers, which is a mistake. I don't want to be like every other photographer, but I do want to get better every year.

What it boils down to is that I know I'm a "little different" when it comes to being a photographer. I think I have a unique style, and I like that. I trust clients to choose me because of that. Tonight, I'm being Rudolph. I'm letting it go. I'm letting the hurt go, letting the client go. I'm being Rudolph and letting my light shine regardless of what she said.

I love what I do. I'll continue to do it.

SHINE ONE SHANTI, SHINE ON!

Yes, I just gave myself a pep talk.