saturday six

<ONE>

One year ago today, my cousin Lauren gained her wings. All day long I've been reading my family's statuses on FB and the pictures they've posted. Although I moved away from home before Lo was born, I felt a significant connection to her. I miss her very much, and think about her frequently. When I am struggling with a task, thinking of Lo sometimes helps me get through it. I'm not sure I can find the words to explain why, but when I tell myself to "do it for Lauren", I somehow am able. Lo you are loved and missed by so many. Here's my most favorite pic of Lo:

<TWO>

Two more days of work and I'm off for Christmas break. I work Monday and Tuesday, and will get a TON done. There will be no children, and very few staff in the building. I've manage to keep my office relatively organized since I cleaned it over Thanksgiving, so there isn't a whole lot of cleaning or organizing to do. Lots of copying, and preparing my very first flipped faculty meeting.

<THREE>

I have three more photo sessions to shoot before the new year. A mini session and two fulls. I did two this morning and it was 30 degrees. The families were definitely troopers. Man, it took a good 20 minute for me to get the feeling back in my right hand.

<FOUR>

Four of my most favorite/funny things Finn has said recently:

"Mommy, I love everyone."

"My peepee is getting bigger and bigger." (Life with boys)

"I'm getting you purple scissors for Christmas."

"Tell Daddy to keep his hands to himself."

<FIVE>

Five more days until my little Sisty arrives from California. She comes in at 11:58 pm on Christmas Eve. I am so darn excited to see her. It has been over a year. Mom and Auntie Paula arrive the day after Christmas. We don't have a whole slew of plans, other than to eat at Luna's Living Kitchen a handful of times since my mom eats mainly raw food. The three of them are going to keep the boys for a few days while Pat and I spend our six year anniversary at Sandals in Jamaica. OMG. I am so excited. There is so much to be excited for this break. But mainly this:

<SIX>

Six days until Christmas. And although I cannot wait, especially to see the wonder in the boys' eyes, I'm NOT ready. Who has time to shop? I tried today and got a few things, but shopping with a 1 year old and dealing with the masses and traffic is enough to make you crazy. I need two full days alone to get it all done and that's not happening. Oh and I still have to get everything shipped to arrive before Christmas. Stressed.

being rudolph

I saw this posted on a friend's FaceBook page today:

It really struck a chord with me.

So perfectly timed.

I've always been a people pleaser, for as long as I can remember. I've never really considered it a fault, nor have I considered it a strength. I suppose it hits both ends of the spectrum a little bit. Being in the professional position I'm in, I had to learn very quickly that no matter the decision I made, I would not please everyone. That was hard to stomach. My rationale is that as long as my decisions are based on what I believe is best for the child, I am going to rest easy knowing I did the right thing. Every decision is based on the child, and I know that the decision likely will either anger a parent or a staff member.

Recently I finished 37 Christmas mini sessions. I did them over 3 days, and probably could have done 4 or 5 days, the demand was so high. This made me feel great, that so many people wanted me to take their pictures. It is an honor when someone chooses you to photograph their family, their children. I know when I go to have pictures made of our family, I am very selective. I choose someone whose work I love, who I know will capture our essence. And so I trust that clients select me because they've seen my work, and they trust that I will capture their family's sweetest moments.

The tough part of mini sessions is that they are 25 minutes long. And sometimes 25 minutes isn't long enough for those shy little ones to come alive, be giggly. However, I take so many pictures of each session that I am typically pretty confident in the 8 pictures I deliver to each client.

Like most humans, I love to hear that my clients are pleased with the finished product. When I hear nothing, I fear they were unsatisfied. And if they're unsatisfied, I'd rather have that confirmed. Then I want to learn from the experience so I can become better at what I do. I have a few clients who are good at communicating these things to me. I always do my best to try to fix what they want fixed. Sometimes I am able to, and sometimes I'm not.

Typically I post one of my favorite photos from each session on FaceBook as a sneak peek. I never post my most favorite, or the picture(s) I believe the client might use to gift or put on their Christmas card. I also have my watermark on each photo and tag the client (unless they desire otherwise). I'm also "friends" with most clients in order to tag them.

This past week, a client posted on their wall a "flashback" Christmas photo stating that basically they were going to have to post a flashback photo until they could get good pictures next year (Indicating their pictures this year weren't good, right?). The client in no way stated specifically that this year's pictures weren't good, nor did they "out" me saying I did a bad job. I just knew. And it was like a dagger to the heart. I truly did the best I could. And I didn't know what to do...

...so I just unfriended her on FaceBook so I wouldn't have to read such statuses. But as you can see, this has stuck with me. I think about it a lot. I'm not perfect. My pictures aren't perfect. But I do the best I know how. I don't charge $350 for a session like some photographers do. I'm not saying that's bad. In fact, I pay that much for the photographer who takes our pictures. Gladly. She's worth every penny. I constantly compare myself to other photographers, which is a mistake. I don't want to be like every other photographer, but I do want to get better every year.

What it boils down to is that I know I'm a "little different" when it comes to being a photographer. I think I have a unique style, and I like that. I trust clients to choose me because of that. Tonight, I'm being Rudolph. I'm letting it go. I'm letting the hurt go, letting the client go. I'm being Rudolph and letting my light shine regardless of what she said.

I love what I do. I'll continue to do it.

SHINE ONE SHANTI, SHINE ON!

Yes, I just gave myself a pep talk.

5 on Friday

<ONE>

Is it Friday? I can hardly tell. Vacations totally throw off my sense of "day". So far, our Thanksgiving break has been amazing. I worked Wednesday in a very quiet building. Got a TON done. I can even see my desk. On Thanksgiving day, we had a slow morning. We went to the lake house at 2 for dinner, then to a playground on our way home. The lake house was quiet and relaxed. It was very nice. Today, my dad and stepmom came to visit. Another quiet day! Tomorrow we plan to go to Boone for the day to pick out our Christmas Tree at our tree farm of choice in Meat Camp (you read that right). We may piddle around Boone for a while, Mellow Mushroom, etc.

<TWO>

I'm knee deep in editing. That's why my blog has been so neglected lately. November is my super busy picture-taking month. In the past two weeks alone, I've done 37 Christmas mini sessions and 2 full sessions. I love how they're turning out. But man alive...I'm exhausted.

<THREE>

Kellan turned one a few weeks ago. I didn't have the chance to blog a letter to him as I did to Finn. Unlike Finn who was sick on his actual birthday, Kellan got sick the day of his party. We ended up canceling it and not rescheduling (due to my busy photography schedule). Had all these cute "Where The Wild Things Are" decorations and outfits and cupcakes...was very disappointing. But when you're running a fever of 103.9, you don't expose it to others. Mommy was bummed.

<FOUR>

Today, Finn announced these exact words: "I've got my life all figured out." I'm glad it only took him four years. I've been here 36 and never had it all figured out. He makes me laugh.

<FIVE>

I did not "Black Friday" shop today (kind of). I went on Nordstrom.com and bought myself a pair of earrings I've been wanting for a LONG time that were on sale. They're usually out of stock, or when they're in stock I'm too cheap to pay full price. Today was the glorious day! It'll be even glorious-er (?) when they arrive on my ears. 

Night.

What's Up Wednesday

So, it's November. And I think WUW is for the last Wednesday of the month.

Oh well. First Wednesday here we go!

• This week we are eating fried rice and sushi (Finn's favorite meal), turkey chili and baked potatoes, a homemade pineapple and black olive pizza, taco salad, Tandoori chicken kabobs with Naan bread, and a pineapple chicken sandwich.
• This week I'm reminiscing about the year in general. Kellan will turn ONE on November 13th and I'm not entirely certain how this year has come to an end. It is amazing how different the first year was with Kellan than with Finn. Kellan is so easy-going, and smiles at everything and everyone. He's much more like I am. 
• This week I'm dreading the weather. November is SLAMMED with photography sessions. Both the many I'm shooting, and our family portraits by Coreyanna Photography. The next 10 days' forecast isn't looking good. Rain. Wind. Rain. Thunderstorms. The combination doesn't make for good pictures, and there's not time to reschedule.
• This week I'm working on editing two photo sessions and planning Kellan's first birthday. Kellan's party is a lot smaller than Finn's. Just our close local family and friends. But there's still a lot that goes into planning.
• This week I'm excited about going to the Panther's game on Sunday. We have a sitter for the boys all day and Pat and I are going to sit back and enjoy an entire football game without a squirmy 11 month old, or a 4 year old that has to go potty or needs a drink or wants to go play on the grass every 5 minutes (that was the App game this past weekend).
• This week I'm sort of reading See Me, which is Nicholas Sparks' new book. When I say sort of, it means I started to read it one day, got 6 pages in, and haven't had the time to pick it up again. I should probably be reading it instead of blogging.
• This week I'm listening to my boys laugh together. The adore chasing each other, and just cackle cackle cackle. Typically this game of chase turns into tears as Finn gets too rough and knocks Kellan down. But prior to that, I love watching them go round and round and crack each other up.
• This week I'm wearing my very last pair of Banana Republic dress pants that I've been trying to fit into for 2 years. It's my 1 pair of pants I've been wanting to be able to button and zip and this week, it happened! 
• This weekend...well, I think I've covered it already: photo sessions, Panther's game.
• Next month, well how about this month? This month I'm looking forward to the Panther's game, Christmas mini sessions, having family over for Thanksgiving, and going to the mountains after Thanksgiving to pick out our Christmas tree.
• What else is new? We downloaded a weekly cleaning schedule from Pinterest. There are daily tasks (like 1 load of laundry, dishes, wiping down counters), and then more in-depth tasks for each day of the work week. For example, Mondays you clean your master bedroom, etc. Oh my word, friends, cleaning is not an activity I enjoy. And it is taking near 2 hours a night to get it all done. Not sure if that means we're really dirty or what. I'm hoping as we continue, the time will get shorter each night as we're more maintaining than deep cleaning. It is nice to have a mostly clean house every day though. Can I just hire someone?

Stitch Fix #7

'Twas a Happy Wednesday for me!

My 7th Stitch Fix arrived and was waiting for me when I get home.

I waited longer than usual for this one, so I was particularly excited.

Look at the beauty of it:

I wrote in my last note to Stitch Fix that I wanted the same stylist I had last time, when my fix was a 5/5 keeper. And, they listened! I also said I'd like a nice fall sweater, and a nice pair of dress pants for work...preferably red. And, my stylist (Sam) listened. In fact, here is her note to me:

She referenced my Pinterest board and my request for red pants.

This is why I love her.

Confession time:

I was added to a Stitch Fix B/S/T board on FaceBook.

The ladies on the board buy, sell, and trade pieces they receive from Stitch Fix.

I learned from this board that you can sneak peek your box before you get it, once it has shipped.

You simply go in and act as if you are going to "check out", and it has listed all your items.

Now, you don't get to see patterns or colors...just the designer and name of the piece.

You can google it, but it's not exact.

So I snuck a peek, and I knew in advance it wasn't going to be a 5/5-er.

The one thing I was excited about was the Emers (pants).

On the B/S/T board, everyone has been raving about how comfy they are.

Like yoga pant comfortable...but you wear them to work.

So when I saw I had Emers on the way, I.COULDN'T.WAIT.

*Sidenote* I'll never "cheat" again and sneak peek. It ruined a lot of the fun of the process.

Here are the styling cards:

(which, again, are of no use to me)

Here's the price list of each item:

Yep, expensive fix. I knew regardless of how things fit, I wasn't keeping everything.

I had a $25 credit going in to this fix from a previous referral.

You see, if you use my referral link, I get $25 toward my next fix.

My referral link is:

https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/4656172

And...when you sign up and LOVE it...

you can get referrals and credits, too!!!

So here's the show:

Item One is the Kensie Blazer:

I do love blazers. But the last blazer I got and kept was blue. And this is blue.

The last blazer had a nice pattern, this was plain. It was also slightly larger than I'd choose for myself.

This one is a return.

Item Two is the 41Hawthorne Blouse:

So I didn't hate it. I actually like the color for fall.

Not a fan of the "Studs" - not really my style.

The shirt fit very well, but it is almost exactly like two other shirts I've received from Stitch Fix and kept. So for that reason:

This one is a return.

(AND REMEMBER, WE'RE NOT JUDGING THE CLEANLINESS OF MY BATHROOM)

Item Three is the Market & Spruce Dolman Top:

I love a Dolman. But, this one is way too big.

And it's blue. Blue #2.

This one is a return.

Item Four is the Margaret M Emers:

Sorry for the bad photo quality.

They were super comfy. But...

I wasn't in love. And to keep a $98 pair of pants, you have to be in love.

The pattern/texture wasn't quite right.

And I was wanting more RED than burgundy.

This one is a return.

Item Five is the RD Style Pullover Sweater:

When I first looked at it, I didn't even want to try it on.

Again, blue. Blue #3.

But I tried it on, really liked the length and fit.

I don't have anything like it in my closet.

I didn't want to lose my styling fee.

So this is my one keep.

At $68 with a $25 credit, this fix cost me $43.

Not bad, although I'm sure I could find a similar sweater cheaper somewhere else.

Not trying to discourage you from trying a fix at all.

This is my 7th, and only 2 of my fixes (this included) have been disappointing.

I don't blame the disappointment on my stylist. At all.

I never told her to stop sending blue/navy pieces.

She has seen what I've kept in the past and tried to send similar items.

I get it.

After checking out, and returning items #1-4...

I gave a lot of feedback to my stylist on sizing and colors and whatnot.

I also redid a few things on my style profile.

I stated: NO MORE NAVY.

I also went on my Pinterest board and pulled down some pins that I didn't want emulated in a future fix.

I'll still request Sam next time. I like her. She gets me.

Want to try Stitch Fix? You should!

Click HERE to use my referral link.

THANKS IN ADVANCE!!!

My next fix is scheduled to arrive on December 24th.

An early Christmas gift to myself :)

So if you sign up and schedule a fix,

you'll pretty much be giving me a Christmas gift, too.

*wink wink*

Thanks and Good Night!

Dear Finnegan

Dear Finnegan,

Today you turn four. 

There is so much I clearly remember about this day four years ago. Mainly frustration. You were strong-willed even before you were born. And to this day, you frustrate me with your strong-willed behaviors. You probably always will.

But frustration aside, your strong-will makes me proud. You know what you want. You are not persuaded. You are so smart.

I don't know where the time has gone.

"They" always say, "Don't blink" because your children grow up literally right before your eyes. This couldn't be more true. I don't know how you are four today.

Every ounce of you makes me smile and laugh. I love your mind, and how you express your thoughts. I could write a novel a month with all of your wit. Sometimes you have no idea you're funny. Sometimes, you are intentionally funny. And I think that in itself is a true skill.

Your belly-laugh is extremely contagious. You laugh, and you mean it! You love to be tickled, and when you've had enough, you let us know.

Sometimes I just stare at you in amazement. I'm already so proud of who you are. And if I'm not staring at you, I'm eating you up. I love kissing and nibbling those cheeks.

I can't wait to see what your fourth year of life has in store. You've already matured so much this past year, that I'm sure this year will be one of giggles and tickles and some deep conversations.

For your birthday this year, Mommy & Daddy got you:

Want: A bathtub toy, it is a floating mountainous racetrack for your Hot Wheels.

Need: A belt. You can't quite hold up 4T pants, and you always talk about needing a belt. Little old man, you.

Wear: Some long sleeve Ninja Turtle jammies.

Read: A whole slew of books - some Paw Patrol, some Pout Pout Fish, and some Tractor books.

Yesterday we had your birthday party at Cherry Berry in Denver. It is your favorite place to frequent for "ice cream" - really, frozen yogurt (but I'll never tell you that). You always get chocolate, then load it up with M&Ms, chocolate chips, gummy bears, juice balls (you call them bubbles), marshmallows, and fudge. Yuck.

 

 

You made your invite list, naming ALL of your friends from Preschool, and a few other family friends. It was a great turnout, and completely wiped you out.

You came home to unpackage all of your gifts, hoarding them from Kellan. As I laid you down to sleep last night, the last time I laid you down as a 3 year old, you had a "Rubble" toy in your hand. You wanted him to sleep with you, warm under your covers. And why not? I wish I had captured a picture of that.

Tonight, it's all about you. I baked you a "red cake" as asked (red velvet). We are dining out at this fine establishment called Jersey Mike's, per your request. All you want is a bag of chips...

Then we will head to Target to spend your gift cards on whatever toy(s) your heart desires.

And when we get home, you will open your gifts from Mommy, Daddy, and Kellan. We will sing to you one last time, and lay you to bed for the first time as a four year old.

My sweet, my heart, my purpose. I love every ounce of your strong will. I thank God every day for choosing me to be your mommy.

Love,
Mommy

Five on Friday

<ONE>

I haven't blogged in a while. The last 8 days I've not been feeling so well. Kellan and I shared a stomach virus. Finn and Pat both have had a cold, which I think I'm now getting. All I have to say is be careful how you word your prayers. I was holding Kellan, rocking him to sleep last Thursday evening and I prayed that God would take all of his sickness away and give it to me instead. Well, He did. Next time, I'll just pray that God take all his sickness away. Period.

<TWO>

This has been a very tough week for me. I've not felt on my game at all. I've been taking far too many things personally. I have to constantly remind myself that it's not my job to save the world. So I found this. Which I think is more meant for motivation to run, but I've been using it for just plain motivation. I can do this. And, next week, the things that were a big deal this week, won't be a big deal anymore. For the most part.

<THREE>

I'm running the Rhyne Financial 8K tomorrow in hopes of adding another medal to my running medal board in my office. Yes, it's all about the bling. No, this picture isn't MY bling. But maybe one day!

<FOUR>
Finn turns four on October 26th. He has no concept of "not yet" and wants his birthday to be here SO BADLY! He asks daily if his birthday is tomorrow and I keep saying, "Not yet...a little longer." He is ready for gifts and cake and ice cream. Every commercial he sees on TV for a toy that is a "boy" type of toy, he asks if I'll get him one for his birthday. What I'm most excited about is his party will not be at our house - hallelujah! We're going to Cherry Berry, and that is such a relief.

<FIVE>
Now that I'm confident in the way I feel in my clothes (weight is off), I've realized I have become addicted to clothing. I bought a few LuLaRoe items today at school, and I'm going through Stitch Fix withdrawals. I usually get my boxes 6 weeks apart but decided to go longer in between this time since my last box was such a splurge. I got an email today asking if I wanted to share anything with my stylist - so that means it's coming soon!!! Woohoo!!!